Fatphobia at Work, The First Sin, and Life-Changing Queso

Hello Friends,

Coming back to real life after spending a week in Austin was rough. In Austin I was with life-long friends, bathed in sunshine, and helping to throw a Valentine’s-themed wedding. Back in Washington, Alex is working 13 hour night shifts, I am drowning in responsibilities, and I haven’t seen the sun in days. Things have been a little grim, but writing this newsletter always makes me happy so let’s get into it.

Rants - Fatphobia at Work

I have worked in food related jobs for the past seven years. I started out as a catering assistant at a pizza place, then I was a catering director at Zupas for a few years. After that, I worked for a catering company as an event assistant, and now I am a food photographer and content creator for a food blog.

Needless to say, I have spent a lot of time talking and hearing people talk about food. Because diet culture and fatphobia are so baked into our society, people will casually say the most harmful and fatphobic things without even realizing it. Let’s get into some examples of things I’ve heard and why they are problematic.

Me: Would you like ranch or vinaigrette with your salad?
Customer: Well, I am trying to be good, so I should get the vinaigrette, but I feel like being bad so let’s do the ranch.

Now this may not seem that serious at first glance but it actually hits a tender spot. Let’s get this out of the way: All foods are morally neutral. Labeling foods as “good” or “bad” sets us up to fail by attaching shame and guilt to certain foods. It opens the door to the idea that fat people are “bad” because they make “bad” food choices. It isn’t helpful or truthful. Plus, for those of us who have been steeped in diet culture for years, we know that the “good” and “bad” foods are always changing. First it was the low-fat craze, but now everyone is doing keto and eating mayonnaise and pork rind-coated chicken breasts. Sometimes diets love fruit, and sometimes they don’t want you within 10 feet of a banana. It’s all nonsense. All foods can be a part of a balanced life.

(Another thing I find funny about this particular interaction is that our vinaigrette - the “healthy” option - was basically made out of as much sugar as you could dissolve in olive oil. I wonder if that knowledge would have changed her choice.)

Comment on a video I made about cookies: That looks like diabetes on a plate!

This is wrong for so many reasons. It is evidence of this idea people have that eating certain foods will make you fat and if you are fat you will get diabetes. It’s honestly just insensitive and rude and ignorant and I am getting a pit in my stomach just writing about it, so let’s move on.

Customer looking at the dessert case: Oh wow, if I worked here and was around these all day I would gain 100 pounds.

My issues with this comment are best summed up in a scene from Ted Lasso, Season 2 Episode 2. One character says she doesn’t eat sugar because she loses control and Ted says he’s the same way with video games. She says, how so? Ted says, “Oh, you know, something in my life that I really enjoy, but then I pretend that preventing myself from having it is somehow making my life better. But in reality, all I am doing is depriving myself of something that makes me happy, instead of attempting to adjust my relationship to it.” When you have a healthy relationship with food and with your body, you don’t have to place strict rules on yourself. You can enjoy a variety of foods while honoring your body.

This comment also touches on the vilification of fatness. It’s like there’s an implied ending to the sentence “and gaining 100 pounds is the worst thing I can imagine happening to me.” Fatphobia exists in this vicious cycle of fear. Thin people fear becoming fat because fat people are viewed as “less than” and fat people are viewed as “less than” because fatness is feared and we treat the things we fear with so much cruelty.

To wrap this section up, I just want to challenge everyone to be more mindful about the ways you talk about food. You will have a better mindset and the chubby girl behind the counter or on the other side of the computer (me) won’t have to go cry in the bathroom on her lunch break.

Raves - A TikTok that Has Been Living in My Head Rent Free

Sometimes I will come across a TikTok that just stops my in my tracks. You can watch it here, but TL;DW, the video is a woman sitting on her couch eating an apple. Her voiceover says, “Ruth Gibbs ends her poem ‘Faithful Food’ with a simple statement that’s been rattling around in my head for months: ‘The first sin was a woman eating’.” She goes on to toast Eve saying, “To the woman who immortalized the first sin, may I also honor my hunger.”

If Eve, the mother of all living, the first woman, can defy expectations and honor her mind and her body, then why can’t I?

Reviews

This week I will be reviewing 1) The Green Chile Queso from Torchy’s Tacos and 2) a delicious libation made for me by the beautiful bride, hostess with the mostest, and the girl of my dreams Paige.

1. The one overwhelming food recommendation I received when planning my trip to Austin was Torchy’s Tacos, and specifically the Green Chile Queso. Let me tell you it did not disappoint. Delicious, smooth, hot cheese, fresh avocado and cilantro, and a little bit of Diablo sauce for kicks. 1 million/10.

   

2. My friend Paige and I have many things in common, one of which being that we both appreciate a delicious beverage. On the last night of my stay, she made us a delicious libation of seltzer, orange juice, maraschino cherry juice, and maraschino cherries. We sipped on them while we watched Ru Paul’s Drag Race and for 42 minutes plus commercial breaks, all was right with the world. 10/10.

   

TTYL!

Your friend,

Kelsey